Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Solve Boyfriend Problems - Tips For Handling Boyfriend Problems

By O. Remillard

If you are asking yourself how to handle "boyfriend problems", it is important that you create a plan regarding what you are going to do and what to watch out for. You want to set limits to what you are willing to put up with and what is out of the question. Some women have a tough time coming to grips that perhaps its all over, living in a dream world, every morning waking up with the hope that it was all a nightmare. This is especially true if you have been together for a long time.

Like anything else worthwhile, finding solutions to boyfriend problems involves time. It also involves getting help from those who have gone before you. Following are the top things to watch out for.

-One of the things you will have to consider is if you are willing to accept whatever he might have done. Everyone deserves a second chance so this is something you will have to come to grips with: What are you ready to forgive and what aren't you willing to let go? Consider even the questions of: Do you still love him? Do you really want to re-establish a solid relationship with your boyfriend? Why? Do you want to have a solid love affair with your boyfriend because you are afraid of being lonely, or that you don't believe you should be left out of his life? You will be playing a very dangerous game with your heart if you want to solidify your relationship for any other reason than love.

- Self pity can kill and your chances of working things out. Throw it aside and keep a close eye on your emotions in front of your boyfriend. You don't want to come off as needy or desperate. Keep looking for and building the positive aspects of your relationship.

- You must find out what caused the problems with your boyfriend. You have no chance of a long term relationship if the causes of your problems remain hidden. Find them, fix them and move on. If you do this, you have a good chance. Figure out and discuss what needs of his are not being met and work on finding solutions that you can both live with.

- Do your best to keep the channels of communication open. Even if he is the cause of most of the problems, he must know that you are willing to talk even if it is just a simple hello on the street. You don't have to be the one to start talking but, he is much more likely to do so if he feels that you will give him a reasonably civil treatment if he does make an effort to talk with you.

- Above all else, analyze what went wrong. There must have been a problem that led to the weakness of the relationship, so find out what the problem was if you want to find a solution to your boyfriend problems. Find out what caused the arguments, of which of his needs weren't being met, and work on rectifying those issues.

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